The four horsemen of the apocalypse relationships dating, refusal to accept influence
This is the beginning of stonewalling.
Defensiveness is an attempt to protect yourself; to defend your innocence or to ward off a perceived attack. However, when you have criticism present in your relationship, it opens the doors for the other detrimental communication styles detailed below.
But it feels like it, so you get defensive. Refusal to Accept Influence While not an "official"one of the Gottman Four Horsemen, this behavior remains linked to marital destruction.
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It usually takes a build up of the first 3 horsemen to create the conditions for this fourth horseman to appear.
Criticizing our partner is different that offering a critique or complaint. It is a time of murder, assassination, bloodshed, revolution, and war.
They stop thinking very clearly. Everything seems terrific, and that initial excitement can last for weeks, months, or even years.
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